Friday, April 04, 2014

LIFE'S FUN INSTRUCTIONS

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 In researching GABE KINCAID (releasing April 18) as well as previous books, I come across regional sayings I love and collect. Those of you who read this blog regularly know that I write western contemporary and historical romances set in Texas.  Here are several of my favorites:

“Sick? Why there’re people in the cemetery feel better than I do.” (Unfortunately, the man who used to say this has passed away and is now in the cemetery.)

“Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.” 

Photo by Nelda Liles, Frisco, Texas

 “Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.” Darling Daughter 1 found this out firsthand when a skunk got inside her feed/tack shed back when we had horses. Phew! She learned you do NOT poke a skunk with a pole to get it to leave a shed.

“Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.”

“A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.” Hero learned hornets are faster than a Ford tractor when he mowed over a hive. I wasn’t around but Darling Daughter 1 drove him to the ER for a treatment. They gave him a shot and wanted to admit him to the hospital, but he refused. Men!  At least he came home and went to bed for a few hours.

 “Words that soak into your ears are whispered…....not yelled.” Perhaps this why when I’m especially angry—seldom happens—I almost whisper.

 “Meanness don't just happen overnight.”

“Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.”

“Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.”

“It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.”

“You cannot unsay a cruel word.”  Especially important to remember!

“Every path has a few puddles.”

“When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.”  

“The best sermons are lived, not preached.” This is so true. Children pattern themselves after us, not simply what we say. Adults around us also see whether we practice what we preach. I hope I do.

“Most of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway.” Since she’s passed away and can’t come over and scold me, I’ll tell a family story. My mom was a champion worrier, and I mean world class. Once when there were heavy rains in Houston, she called my brother to see if he’d gotten home safely from work but he didn’t answer his home phone.This was before everyone had a cell phone. She called again a couple of hours later and he still didn’t answer. She decided he’d driven off into flood water and drowned. She called every fifteen minutes until 3 am and then stopped for a few hours and tried again before she called me. I told her if there was a problem, he would have called us. Sure enough, that afternoon he called because he’d just returned home from a trip. I’d like to say that cured her of worrying needlessly, but it didn’t.

 “Don 't judge folks by their relatives.” Oh, this is one we know is true, don’t we?

“Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.”

“Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.”

“Don 't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.”

“Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.”




"If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.”

“Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.”

 “Always drink upstream from the herd.”

“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.”

“Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.”



"If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.”

“Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.”

And my favorite:
“The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin'.”


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